Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Bring me that man meat
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize