let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
