so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
