she was so not down for the gang bang
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
