How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
