They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
