the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
either way he was missing a nipple.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
