Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
