I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
