I love black thongs
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize