just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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