is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
