Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I will be naked everywhere
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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