Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
