Is it because I queefed?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
