There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
