I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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