his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
