OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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