if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
are you so shy because you have an std?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
