I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
