Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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