"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I looked at my own cervix.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
