He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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