Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
They are going to name an STD after you.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
