So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
