My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
