i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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