the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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