i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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