I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
