Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
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eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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