i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
