i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
