Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize