I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
