Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
