You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
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At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
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Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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