i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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