so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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