If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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