so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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