We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
