yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
