Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
