No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
