Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
