Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize