ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
