Since when is my name a synonym for head?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
