I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
