too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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