Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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