do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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